BEEP BEEP BEEP
Rolling out of bed and letting out a tiresome moan, I stand up. Looking at the clock flashing 5:30 I hit it a few times until it stops beeping. Having an argument with my sleepy self on whether or not to get 15 more minutes of sleep, I drift back into bed convincing myself I'm just resting my eyes.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
I jolt awake, looking at the clock: 8:30
SHIT BISCUITS I'M TWO AND HALF HOURS LATE TO MY SHIFT!
I scramble to get my uniform on, tuck my hair into a bun, throw a breath mint in and run to the door.
A young man with a clean cut suit and well-trimmed stubble stands in the hallway with notebook in hand. He looks up and his piercing green eyes light up as I open the door.
"Greetings, I'm from Southern Living magazine an-"
"And I'm late." I say, quickly rolling by the the strapping young man with my not so upstanding janitor cart.
"Ummm well I'm here to cover a piece entitled "15 Southern Towns Making a Comeback" and we'd like to get to know the people that live here a little better. Could you tell us a little bit about yourself...Jackie?" the man says as he follows me down the hall and into the elevator.
"How do you know my name?" I ask suspiciously, whipping my head to look up at the gentleman. He points at my breast where my uniform
"Well there's not much to tell about me and not much to tell about this so called comeback town. I think a comeback implies we were once something special so you might be out of luck."
"Well..that's a gloomy perspective...there's gotta be something a pretty girl like you can find to do in a little town like this?"
Taken aback a bit, I stared intently into his eyes trying to detect hints of sarcasm but I found none. I hesitantly responded,
"What's your name?"
"James. Carter James," he said
I was so appalled that he introduced himself like James Bond that I hadn't realized the elevator had arrived at my floor.
"Well Carter James, I've got a lot of work to do so with all due respect agent 007, piss off."
I was halfway down the hall when he cried, "Wait!" as he came chasing after me. With an exasperated sigh I whipped around and was about to shove my mop up his until he said,
"Would you like to maybe get something to eat sometime?" he asked
Speechless as I was to the audacity of this "Southern Living" character, I could do nothing but stand motionless.
"Tell you what, here's my number, if you're interested give me a call." he said and with that he got back in the elevator and waved goodbye with a cheesy grin.
After about 7 minutes of trying to analyze what just took place, I finally gathered my wits and rolled my cart into my first bathroom of the day.